A Day in the "Business". ..
by DHKitiara
Summary: My 3a.m. creation of what Dart and Lavitz's lives -might- have been like if they'd never become Dragoons...Warning: Level of making sense is extremely low.


The scene is set in your average business room, embellished with a large oval table, many cushioned chairs, display stands, and a large window with a fantastic view of a city. If you can't picture this, refer to the office in 'Liar Liar' where the guy makes an ass of himself by insulting the entire table of people. =) The characters include Dart and Lavitz, only it isn't really Dart and Lavitz, for in this scenario, they never have nor will be Dragoons. This is my twisted mind's idea of what life in the modern world might have been like for our beloved (mostly) Dragoons. It isn't lengthy, but it has the needed effect - you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hurl. Whatever. Kick back and enjoy my very short 3 am creation.

A Day in the "Business" With Dart & Lavitz. ..

A middle-aged, balding man is seen at the head of the oblong, polished wooden table. The toupee on his head is more than obvious, and his tall, lanky body is clothed in the finest of suits. A row of business men and women sit in velvet cushioned chairs to his left and right. Most stare at him attentively, while some deliberately ignore the man's presence to scribble a note or two in their books. Dart sits to the man's immediate left, with Lavitz next to him. They are each dressed in formal white shirts and dark blue slacks, complete with pocket protectors and ties. The middle-aged man coughs, subtly demanding the group's full attention. When each pair of eyes rests their tired gaze upon him, he smiles a wry smile, and begins to speak.

"Good-afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Bob, the host with the most." He laughs sardonically, then continues to drone on monotonously.

Meanwhile, Dart is paying little if any attention to the speaker, yet he looks straight ahead, his stare never leaving Bob. Lavitz sits as still as stone, unblinking, the only sign of life the constant twiddling of his thumbs. They both nod along, agreeing with basically everything that is said.

"...and I'd like to introduce our newest employees, these gentlemen to my left here..."

Dart and Lavitz stand halfway, waving casually, looking at the coterie, placid smiles upon their face as they nod. Bob begins to sound a bit like the teacher of Charlie Brown to our boy's ears.

Dart's mouth now hangs agape, his eyes occasionally squinting in confusion as the speaker points out an "important" matter to the group. Lavitz settles back into his soft chair, staring straight ahead.

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5 Minutes Later

Dart looks nervously at Lavitz, his eyes bolting from his companion to his own jacket many times. Lavitz, after realizing he is being watched, stares at Dart with a confused expression upon his face, as if he were reading the young man's mind. Seeming as though he had "failed", Lavitz turns his attention back to Bob. Dart, however, keeps a keen eye on Lavitz, and pulls an orange flask from an inner pocket of his jacket. He smiles triumphantly, then brings the lip of the flask to his mouth, and drinks deeply. Once he pulls the flask down, his face is twisted in what any witness would refer to as the infamous Bitter Beer Face. Shaking the horrid sensation off, Dart reaches over and poked Lavitz. The other man turns to face Dart, a quizzical look upon his tired face. Dart places the flask in front of Lavitz's face, offering a drink. He shakes his head, pushing it away, somewhat annoyed by this. Yet Dart, being the stubborn little fool he is, jabs the flask back into Lavitz's view. With a sigh, Lavitz take the bottle, raising it to his lips, and sips at the foul liquid. His eyes widen as the lowers the decanter, his face twisted in disgust as he replays Dart's Bitter Beer Face. With a squeaky cough, he hands the orange flask back to his friend. Dart tucks the bottle away in his jacket, and they both resume their stare at Bob.

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A Few Moments Later

Dart's mouth hangs agape once more, his eyes squinting in confusion still. Meanwhile, Lavitz removes his own jacket and rolls up his sleeve, securing the hem at his elbow. Silently, he removes his belt, then straps it tightly around his arm that he has de-sleeved, cutting off any circulation. With his free arm, he pulls a needle from his jacket pocket, and injects----------

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This content not approved for children! =) Moving on.

Lavitz is now seen slumped in his chair, his head laid back on the chair, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling as he hums a childish tune. Dart spares an appalled glance at Lavitz, then takes his jacket off, draping it over his lap. He looks around cautiously, then moves his hand under the jacket. Seconds later, an unzipping noise is heard as----------

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This content not approved for children! =) Moving on.

"Thank you for coming and listening to my views, I hope to see you next week." Bob smiles wryly once more, then picks up a stack of papers, and exits behind the line of men and women whom are filing out the door. Dart and Lavitz have stayed behind, both looking quite fatigued and without any energy what-so-ever. They glance at each other momentarily, moronic grins plastered upon their faces, then stand to leave.

_Comments? This is probably my worst fic yet! ^^''' Ah well!_


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